Clearing Archive Roboposter roboposter at lightlink.com
Fri Jul 10 00:06:02 EDT 2020

             ((My comments in double parentheses - Homer))
                    JON ZEGEL TAPE NO. 4, THE RECANT
                               ZEGEL - 4
                              Spring 1987
                      Copyright (C) 1987 Jon Zegel
       Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.
     ((It is a matter of public record that the following tape was
circulated coincident with a settlement that Zegel made with the RTC in
1987, the terms of which are secret.
     Jon was unwilling to discuss the terms of the settlement with me
recently, but he said I should put this note at the beginning of the
     Hello again, this is John Zegel and it's the Spring of 1987, and
this is the long awaited Tape Four.
     It's been nearly three years since I've talked to you and a lot of
water has gone over the dam during that time.  I think this will be my
best tape.  I'll let you be the judge of that, but one thing I know for
sure: the story you are about to hear has not been told before and it
needs to be.
     What you are going to hear will no doubt raise a few eyebrows and
perhaps shock a few people.  It's a story that's been known to only a
few.  We're going to talk about meetings that you were never invited to,
strategies that never appeared in the AAC Journal or were never spoken
of at David's ((Mayo)) lectures.  These are the things I want to put
into perspective for you.
     But, I'm getting a little ahead of myself.
     Needless to say we have all been through an ordeal together leaving
the church.  The 'heyday' of the field and then the reality of what we
actually ended up with in the field, and that's not much to speak of; a
heap of ashes might be an apt description.  I don't think this fact
comes to you as any great surprise, all you have to do is look around
and you can see for yourself that this is true, but the purpose of this
tape is not to tell you what you already know.  In the next hour we are
going to look hard at what happened, what really happened, behind the
scenes in the field and I think it might answer some questions for you.
     As you know, I've been in and out of the thick of this for some
time.  Being on the inside, I knew quite a bit that was going on in the
field that you were not privy to, but even with all the first hand data
that I had, I was puzzled over why we were having so much trouble with
the lawsuit that the church filed against myself, the AAC and a few
others in the field.  This was the suit that dealt with the stolen NOTS
materials.  By the way, many blamed this lawsuit as the reason why the
AAC had to close down, but I knew better, for I saw the field
deteriorating long before the suit was ever filed.  But again, I am
ahead of myself.
     As to why I began this quest, I didn't understand why we were
losing in the courtroom.  Particularly, a case in which I thought we
were innocent.  Nothing added up anymore.  The field had virtually
disappeared.  So I started asking some questions, some very hard
questions and I found some answers.
     To be honest, I really didn't know who to trust at this point.  So
while doing this I separated myself out from just about everybody.  My
search took me back and forth on the time track and through a pile of
paper that would overwhelm any attorney.
     What I found was shocking, so shocking, in fact, that at several
points in time I decided that I simply didn't want to look anymore.  I
didn't like what I was finding and I didn't like confronting the fact
that a few people I had really trusted had let me down.  As for this
tape, it is largely a document based tape.  I must have read a stack of
documents six feet, or about 2 meters, high.  Mostly court records and
depositions available to anyone.  From this, a time track grew, which I
added to my own eyewitness knowledge of what had happened in the field.
     It was not an easy job.  There were many disheartening,
disappointing and angry moments while I was putting that time track
together.  It may be that the truth will set you free, but nobody said
that gathering it wasn't painful, and at times even embarrassing.
     If you hear me turning pages while this tape is going on it's
because, frankly, I've written out a lot of the material in advance.
Because so much of this has come from research and putting together time
lines and so forth I felt it was necessary to have accurate notes before
I began.  And while I'm at it, I also invite you to do your search in
order to verify what I'm about to tell you.  As a matter of fact, I
implore you to examine this for yourself and base your conclusions on
first hand data, instead of taking some one else's word for it.
     Probably the best way to start is with some current facts and then
we can work from there.  It is a fact that the AAC is gone ((The AAC is
alive and well again in the Dominican Republic)); Stockton is gone;
Kenda Craig is gone; the Clear Center is perhaps 10% of it's former
self, many others are also gone.
     As to those who remain, good old standard tech is just a distant
memory.  You probably have seen some of the garbage passed off as tech,
"This is IT!  THE thing to crack your case, a ouija board."
     Give me a break.
     And a far cry from what we were talking about back in 1983, I might
     And if standard tech is what you are looking for, there is no place
in the field to find it, that, too, is an indisputable fact.  And
another fact that cannot be ignored is that the US federal courts have
not been kind in their treatment of the AAC and some other field
centers.  All PR aside, I worked on the AAC legal case and am also
familiar with other cases with other centers, so I know how things are
really going and, overall, they are not going well.
     That brings us to where I started my investigation.  You see the
church's lawsuit reduced to it's simplest language, claimed that the
NOTS material that was stolen in Denmark was transferred to David Mayo
and the AAC in violation of several statutes.  This, of course, is an
over simplification of the suit but it will suffice for our purposes.
     When the church first filed it's lawsuit over the theft of the NOTS
material, I distinctly remember getting together with David Mayo and a
few other associates up at the AAC and we discussed the case at length,
we talked and talked and the more we talked the more sure I became that
we had a strong defense to this case.  I was assured by David that he
had nothing to do with theft of the upper level materials in Denmark and
that these materials had not been sent to his center, and I believed
     But loss after loss in front of Judge Feltzer, the judge in this
case, made me quite confused.  I kept asking myself why were we losing,
what had we done to pull this in?  I couldn't quite get my finger on it.
I remember several times questioning David on this point, asking him at
some length if he had anything to do with this theft, or the receipt of
the stolen materials.  I didn't want to waste my time defending the suit
if he had actually been guilty of this, and I was not about to waste my
time raising money to pay for a defense if, in fact, the AAC was guilty
of a crime.
     Assured repeatedly that David was innocent, we used this legal case
to rally the field to raise funds for our legal defense.  The battle cry
became, "You could be next".  To be honest, we didn't know whether the
"You could be next" line was necessarily true or not, but it was an
acceptable line since we really needed money and David Mayo was
innocent, right?
     Well, we'll see.
     My objective was to question everything either side said.  I didn't
know who to trust or believe.  Now, nearly two years later, I have a
very disturbing tale to tell you.  What I am about to tell you is all
contained in the public records that you can find just as I did.  It's
all there and I am bitter and angry with what I have found.  I am bitter
because I was lied to and I used my comm lines and skills to pass that
lie along.  That lie was used to raise money.  It was used to keep
another lie alive.  And that really frosts me.
     Let's review this whole scene and I'll show you how I came to
conclude that David did indeed come into possession of the stolen NOTS
pack.  I came to this conclusion from publicly available evidence
including many documents from the files of the AAC and the files of
David Mayo himself.  Some of the details you may know about, some I am
sure you do not.
     Basically, what happened is this.  On December the 9th 1983, Robin
Scott, along with two accomplices, stole three NOTS packs and a Class
VIII pack from the AO in Denmark; this is now a well known fact and is
not disputed by any one.  We in the field actually regarded this as good
news.  We all hoped we would be able to get the real NOTS data and, of
course, within days of the theft we knew who had stolen the materials.
     Prior to, and during this time, David insisted that these materials
were unnecessary as he could reconstruct the NOTS pack from memory, but
it's interesting to note that he never released anything until after the
theft.  The AA5 ((ACC OT V)) pact simply did not exist before the theft,
even though David often talked about how much he wished he had a pack
finished.  Then, all of a sudden, in January 1984, not long after the
theft, the pack comes out.
     Advance payments were coming into the AAC and by February 1984,
AA5, or NOTS, was finally being delivered.  This was broadly promoted.
David had finished the pack, HIS reconstruction, time for celebration.
     The RTC however saw it differently, and in January of 1985, they
filed a suit against Robin Scott and his accomplices:  Ron Lalley, Morag
Belmain and Steve Bisbee.  And, again, against the AAC, David Mayo, John
Nelson, Harvey Haber, myself, my then wife Vivian, concerning the theft
and possession of these NOTS materials.  Now we're going to take a look
at what I call the NOTS connection, because this is where the story gets
a little bit more interesting.
     To begin, let me give you some history and some idea of who the
players were at the start of this game.  David Mayo, John Nelson, Harvey
Haber and Dede Reisdorf were all ex-CoS management people who formed the
AAC in Santa Barbara.  Lalley, Bisbee, Belmain, themselves also ex-Sea
Org, formed the nucleus of a group they hoped would oneday be a fully
fledged AAC in East Grinstead.  Robin and Adrian Scott, who had resigned
from the Church in the Fall of 1983, were also former Sea Org members,
who worked for the FOLO UK, and at one point Robin had even been Deputy
Commanding Officer there.  Adrian, who was also in FOLO UK, I believe
was the H.A.S.  They would later form the AAC Kenda Craig.
     But the real story begins months earlier.  You know the old
Dianetic command, 'Is there an earlier beginning?'  Yes, there is an
earlier beginning.  Ron Lalley and Steve Bisbee, as early as May, or
perhaps June of 1983, had stolen solo through OT3 from AOSH UK, using an
inside accomplice.  This is a matter of court record.  Then, in July of
1983, Jeannie Hansen, a close friend of Lalley and Bisbee, made a trip
to see David Mayo.  I have no evidence that the stolen solo through OT3
materials were given to David, but it does explain a strange
conversation that I had with him.  I offered him the similar materials
from the Clear Center.  'Thanks,' he said, 'but we have all we need.'
     That was curious to me because our very first conversations, and
from then on, many conversations, centered around the unavailability and
scarcity of materials, and that was a constant problem.  Now, all of a
sudden, he seemed to have all of the materials he needed.  That seemed
illogical to me but I accepted it at face value.  And I didn't know
about the Lalley-Bisbee June theft at that time.  But we still did not
have the NOTS pack.
     During the Fall of 1983, both Ron Lalley and Robin Scott begin a
series of letters with David Mayo.  Both indicate they want to affiliate
with the AAC in Santa Barbara and deliver services up through solo NOTS.
Scott indicated that he wanted to send a staff member to Santa Barbara
for training.  On October 1, 1983, Robin Scott attempts a theft.  He
approaches an AO UK staff member, asks him to steal NOTS and other
confidential materials, and in exchange he would receive a 20,000 pounds
per year job.  The staff member tells Robin to 'shove off' and writes up
the attempt.
     On October 6, 1983, Bob Ainsworth of Robin Scott's group in Kenda
Craig, writes to David Mayo and says he would like to deliver NOTS.  And
he was 'figuring out how to get the materials.'  Make a note of that.
     Later that Fall, Harvey Haber from the AAC in Santa Barbara,
traveled to Spain for a convention of Independents, and then went on to
East Grinstead.  During his stay there, Harvey had meetings with Ron
Lalley, Steve Bisbee and Morag Belmain, among others.  The seeds of the
AAC/East Grinstead are sown.  I can't imagine that they didn't discuss
the earlier theft; and perhaps the one to come.
     As late as November 17th, AAC regs are still replying to requests
for NOTS or AA5 training by saying the AAC does not currently deliver
that training and they cannot give a date certain when it will be
available.  'Soon', was all that was said.
     Then the second theft.  On December 9, 1983, Scott, Lalley and
Belmain travel to Copenhagen.  They enter the AO in Denmark and take
three NOTS packs and one Class VIII course pack, as we said before.
Scott takes one pack and goes back to Scotland.  Lalley and Belmain take
others and return to East Grinstead.  Immediately on their return to
East Grinstead, Lalley and Belmain join up with Steve Bisbee and they go
directly to Martin Rustin's office to xerox copies of the stolen
     But here is the clincher, this is clincher number one, and one part
of the story you were never told.  The same day of the theft, the very
day that the stolen NOTS materials were being xeroxed, the AAC made two
phone calls to Martin Rustin's office.  They were right in the phone
records.  I didn't even know about those phone calls when I was working
on the legal case.
     And now clincher number two.  On December the 20th, Harvey Haber
from the AAC in Santa Barbara picks up the phone and calls Ron Lalley in
East Grinstead and they talk for over an half an hour overseas.  This is
no ordinary phone call and Harvey takes notes on their conversation.
Those notes have been introduced into the court.
     Into those notes he states that the AAC would get 'the materials'.
Lalley, Bisbee and Belmain would not give copies of the materials to
anyone other than David Mayo and the AAC.  In exchange they would get
AAC affiliation.  Just as a parenthetical remark, do you see the
ramifications of that?  They also got two for one price or 50% discount
to train their staff at the AAC in Santa Barbara.
     Talk about a smoking gun.  Why Harvey wrote all this down I'll
never know, but he did, and a copy of it is in the court files for you
to see for yourself:  affiliation with known thieves.  This same note
also mentions that John Nelson is planning a trip to East Grinstead in
early January of 1984 and he will work out the fine points at that time.
David Mayo apparently was told of this deal soon after the telephone
call.  Now you must remember that as of January 1st 1984, there was
still no AA5 pack at the AAC, only the lectures given by David to a
select few.
     In January, Nelson took off to East Grinstead and met with Lalley
and Bisbee who had the stolen NOTS pack.  At that time the affiliation
was made official with Lalley, Besbee and Belmain as the Board of
Directors of the AAC East Grinstead.  Nelson also made a quick trip to
Kenda Craig to talk to Robin Scott, the deals were closed just has
Harvey had laid them out back on December the 20th.  In addition, Kenda
Craig agreed to pay over 5% of its gross income to the AAC in Santa
     I might add at this point that it was certainly ethically
questionable to be in communication with these people ((Scott et al.)).
To affiliate with these people as AACs, as it is a matter of court
record that these people were criminals, is ludicrous.  We're talking
about simple outright theft now.  Regardless of the arguments, religious
or philosophical, used to justify it, it was purely a criminal act like
someone entering your home and stealing something from you.
     But what about David Mayo getting the NOTS pack?  David and I had
talked a few times about the chances of getting one, but he kept saying
to me that he wouldn't want to get involved with anything illegal, so
no, he didn't want a hot NOTS pack.  I believed him.
     Clincher Number Three.  All of a sudden, as if dropped from heaven,
the AA5 bulletins start coming out:  bang-bang-bang-bang; one after the
other.  In my deposition in this case, they had me go through the
complete AA5 pack and read the data in each issue.  Issue Number One,
January, 1984; Issue Number Two, January, 1984; Issue Number Three,
January, 1984.  I don't think I need to continue with this, do I?
     All of the bulletins of the AA5 pack all came out in one month and
all of them came out in January, 1984.  I didn't catch it, even as it
stared me in the face.  There I sat in the room with the attorneys and
the papers and everything.  It just never occurred to me at the time
that David had written the entire AA5 pack in one month or less.  The
whole deal.  That must have been some month.
     One then must ask this burning question . . . If David Mayo could
reconstruct NOTS from memory into AA5 in only a month, why hadn't he
done it in the month of August, 1983?  Or how about the months of
September or October or November or December?  People were clamoring for
the services.  Why wait?  We considered that there was big money to be
made in delivering those services.  And besides, memory fails with time.
     On March 13, 1984, Robin Scott was arrested in Copenhagen.  On
March 14, by the time the news had reached the AAC, calls were made from
the AAC to Ron Lalley, Steve Bisbee and Morag Belmain.  Nearly 45
minutes altogether in overseas phonecalls, all on that day.  Did you
know that the AAC Journal for that period originally featured a page on
the new AAC Kenda Craig?  No, you don't.  Because these, in fact, were
never mailed.  Instead, they were destroyed and a new issue deleting all
references to Robin Scott in the AAC Kenda Craig was produced and
distributed.  Now that the arrest had occurred, David needed to distance
himself from Scott.
     Court records show that all the terms of the agreement negotiated
by Nelson and Haber were carried out.  It would then be illogical to
assume that the final and most important term of the agreement had also
not been carried out.  And that was the transfer of the stolen NOTS back
to the AAC.  It would be illogical for this not to have occurred.
     The evidence strongly suggests that David did possess a copy of the
stolen NOTS pack.  It was really quite tricky to piece all of this
together.  But all I did was read and take careful notes on the trial
documents, the testimony in court, the depositions, and the documents
used as evidence and so on.  And it's all right there for anyone to see.
     Now, you have to realize that I did not know all of this when I was
doing my tapes, and working on raising money for the legal defense of
the lawsuit.  While some might not care that the materials were stolen
from the Church, it bothers me.  I feel betrayed when I look at how much
money was spent defending a lawsuit in which we were apparently guilty.
When I take a look at how much time was spent helping David, who I feel
was not open and honest with me about the facts of the case, I feel very
angry.  My life and future was on the line.  Apparently, he just didn't
care.  I find it upsetting to realize that I was taken in by all of
this.  And the PR line that I helped forward, given to me by David Mayo,
in the end turned out to be the lie.
     After the suit was filed, I launched into the legal arena.  From
June '85 through August '85 I worked full time.  I attended all
depositions, hearings, read all the motions and other legal papers.  It
was an amazing stack of paperwork.  David and I had hours of discussions
about this suit, throughout which he maintained his complete innocence.
     But the court hearings began in July, 1985.  We were going to show
the Church of Scientology, I'll tell you that.  We were going to get in
there and kick some butt, if you will.  Unfortunately, we ate most of
our meals standing up.  We lost motion after motion, creating the
impression that Judge Marianna Feltzer, the judge in this case, was
against us.  So we looked into her.  But an investigation into her
earlier cases showed a very low reversal rate.  That is, she was rarely
found to be factually or legally wrong by the higher courts.  She had a
reversal rate of around 4%, the lowest of any judge in that particular
circuit.  This was disquieting, to say the least.
     And then we get to Clincher Number Four.  Judge Feltzer personally
compared the AA5 materials and the NOTS materials and she came back into
court and this is what she said in November of 1985, now this is a
     "The court did not find the testimony of David Mayo credible on the
issue of how he and the Advanced Ability Center came to have in their
possession the documents in question in this lawsuit.  The court does
not believe that anyone, even Mr. Mayo, could have reproduced from
memory, materials substantially identical to those stolen in Denmark
from the church.  The documents are too voluminous, too detailed and too
nearly identical in substance and wording to have been created by Mr.
Mayo without reference to the stolen documents".
     The judge ordered all of the materials, AA5 or NOTS in the
possession of the defendants to be turned over to the court.  So that is
the real story of the NOTS connection as to opposed to what you were
told about it.  It is by no means the entire WHY for the field
crumbling, we'll get to that later.  But it is a typical example of the
kind of out ethics that has historically been present in splinters or
squirrels or what ever else you want to call them.  And it shocked me
into beginning an independent search of what really had happened over
the past five years in the field as well as just the legal case.
     After I realized I had been lied to by David about the NOTS
materials and then realizing that I had wasted all that time and all
that money, I felt devastated.  But I plowed on.  I began to review the
entire history of the field and my involvement with it.  I wanted to
know why it all turned out as it did.  What I found could not be
refuted, it's a story that's not been told.  I think you all know that
things just do not happen by themselves.  People have to make them
happen, and in the case of field movement of 1983 and 1984, it was made
to happen and I played a large part in that movement.
     You've all heard my tapes, well that's just one small part of the
picture.  The part of the picture we told you about and wanted you to
believe contained in those tapes.  I believed what I told you in earlier
tapes.  I didn't know that I was being sold a bill of goods, and took
what I was told as truth.  I never could document all that black PR.
What I was fed and in what sequence, etc., was calculated to get me to
pass on the PR and lies.
     For a moment let's go back to the beginning.  I resigned from the
church in April of 1983.  That is a story in itself, but I will not
dwell on it in this tape.  Suffice it to say, that upon a good honest
look, the seeds of my disaffection went back many years to a couple of
situations from earlier times that I was involved in, which I never got
myself handled on.  Instead I got more and more strident in my
complaints as time went on.  And as I have come to learn, many of the
conditions I was harping upon to justify my departure in a time period
when some had been attempting to stir up discontent, had been caused by
a management crew that had been kicked out for out tech and out admin in
1982.  The ousted former leaders complained loud and long about
management, the very conditions that they themselves had brought about.
And we shall encounter some of this earlier management crew very shortly
in this tape.
     There are many things that could be said about this time period of
early 1983.  For instance, about the real motivations of people who set
up shop outside the church.  A representative example is two of the key
people in the LA independent field.  They were known in the church for
fluky tech and getting into off beat practices well before they left the
church.  I am talking of course about Valerie Stansfield and Thea
Greenburg.  And they proceeded to confirm my earlier opinion of them by
inventing rundowns, squirreling the tech and getting into other
     Let's pick up the tale from the summer of 1983, realizing that
there was much that had preceded this time period, and this was not by
any means the actual start of the incident.  There were, by now,
alarming rumors early on, like the IRS was going to take over the Church
of Scientology, or it was all going to go bankrupt and I put some of
this information in earlier tapes.  But I have to tell you that those
were rumors and those things have not come to pass.
     But the field thrived on those rumors, that the church would be
going under any day and it made joining the field more attractive if the
CofS was going to disappear.  The truth, as we now can see it, was
something quite different.  In fact, it was facts like IRS troubles that
we'll omit from this tape.  So that was the situation at the time and
here in how we capitalized on it.
     The Clear Center opened officially in the summer of 1983 and the
AAC which I helped set up soon followed.  I remember the beginning very
well.  The seeds were sown on a hot day in July of 1983, we all gathered
in my apartment:  David Mayo, John Nelson, Harvey and Donna Haber,
myself and my wife at the time, Vivian.  A meeting that I'll call the
birth meeting of the AAC.  This was before I'd done my tapes, this was
before the AAC journals and the trips to Santa Barbara on weekends.
These were meetings where plans were devised and scraped and then
reworked and finally, it was the place where certain agreements were
arrived at.
     I must confess these initial meetings made a significant impression
on me.  I was electrified.  I had never been on the Apollo.  I have
never worked at INT and the stories that I was being told by the small
handful hour after hour left me speechless.  Well, I don't think I have
ever been actually speechless but let's say I was stunned.  These were
things that I'd ever heard before, things that you'd never heard before
either and I assumed that if they electrified me, they would electrify
you.  And this I used to make my tapes appealing.  Not to say that I was
calculated but, looking back on it that's how it happened.  And looking
further back in this area I never really asked for the documentation on
all the claims that were being made by David and the other members of
the AAC.  Which I relayed to you quite faithful in my tapes.
     At the time, it never occurred to me that David Mayo would lie to
me.  Besides, he had made the big jump, like myself, to leave the
church.  His jump might have been bigger than mine.  So you might say we
were comrades where a certain account of mutual trust was expected.
Now, some four years later, I know differently.
     David Mayo, in early to mid 1983, was laying tile for a living.
When we first met he wanted to get ginned in on who was who in the LA
field and how I thought he might go about getting something started.  We
discussed everything down to the general PR lines that would be used.
But things don't just happen by themselves, people have to plan them out
and make them happen.  To think that the field movement started
spontaneously is ludicrous.  No it was made to happen.  I know because I
was there at the beginning and I worked to help make it happen.  I
became a spokesman for the movement in its infant stages, when it was
really getting going.  David Mayo and I discussed strategy at length and
how to get his story out to the field.
     What you are about to hear may shock you, but that is not my
intention believe me, this may seem somewhat calculated but I'm afraid
in certain cases, it was.  The strategy which was worked into my tapes
had the following guide lines:
     1. The public that we were going to go after were Scientologists
primarily on lines at the church.  This included any fence sitters or
people who had festering ARC breaks with the church.  We were mainly
interested in those who already knew Scientology worked and were ripe
for the plucking.  We knew that unless we promised standard tech we
couldn't get many people to really leave the church.  Mind you I'm not
saying standard tech was ever delivered, I'm only saying we HAD to
promise it.  We knew that we could only pull in the church public if we
promised good standard tech.
     ((No #2 given by Zegel.))
     3. This is where David Mayo came in.  We pushed the line that Mayo
was the highest trained terminal in the field and that he had data on
the upper levels that no one in the church had, thereby giving the field
its own attraction.  A classic hidden data line.  It tuned in perfectly
with the inside or hidden stories about the ship and INT, and so on.
     But the more data I got in this research, the more I found Mayo's
assertions to be false.  But at the time I ate it up hook, line and
sinker and sold it like gospel truth.  And it was very convincing.
     And what about David's knowledge of the secret unreleased, upper,
upper OT levels?  Well, I remember the time in 1984 when Mayo released
his version of OT VIII, and what a flop!  It was given to only a couple
of PCs, and you never saw two more distressed PCs in your life.  And
that was the last we heard of David bringing out new upper levels.
That's a little story you maybe never have heard about.
     4. Another part of the strategy was to give you the impression that
people were leaving the church in droves.  It's funny how people don't
like to take the plunge all by themselves.  But it you can assure them
that others just like them have taken the leap, they feel more
reassured.  My tapes were to reassure you that it was okay to leave the
     I'm sorry if this is shocking.  It's not easy for me to be saying
all of this.  But the truth is the truth and for some reason every time
I look more and more at this scene, I see more and more exactly what did
happen.  It's a painful process, but try to stay with me here.
     Anyway, after we worked out the strategy, we decided to implement
it.  In August of 1983, the Mayos, the Habers and John Nelson, along
with my help, established the AAC in Santa Barbara.  Per the strategy,
the AAC proclaimed itself to be the best in the field, run by former
high execs of the SO.  We all pushed power to the AAC.  We sent money,
mailing lists; we took services.  Yet, even when things appeared to be
going well, rivalry between field groups for public and money was
growing. And with it bad blood in our 'high ARC' environment.
     This is a little story that you may not have known about.  Let me
fill you in on what it was really like behind the scenes in the field.
At an early meeting of center owners, David Mayo was pushing for total
control over the field.  This fell on deaf ears.  The last thing that
anybody wanted was someone to be 'in control'.  At that time, David
claimed he wanted total control out of a desire to keep the tech
standard.  But, in time, it was clear that his desire for control had
less to do with the tech and more to do with his being the sole
deliverer of the upper levels in the field, a very lucrative position.
     I helped him set up the AAC and I owned the Clear Center, so I was
very much aware of what was going on and knew all about the 1.1 battles
over who was top dog, and who got the most money, etc.  We preached
peace and love, but in the end, it was the almighty dollar that ruled.
     And that brings us to what we call the Standard Tech, and its price
in the field.  In my tapes, I spoke to you about the marketplace and how
it would create a new field that would be able to deliver services at a
price the people could afford.  Maybe they could afford the price, but
don't kid yourself, they didn't get Standard Tech.  I could tell you
stories that would make your hair stand on end.  About C/Ss that were
never trained to be C/Ss; about Auditors that were auditing over their
heads, and about C/Ss who never even looked at the folders.  I could
even tell you some other things that should never have occurred to
anyone.  And I'm not just talking about the AAC, either.  This, if
anything, is the story of the FIELD.
     You must remember that I was trained up to Class VIII.  I at least
knew the rudiments or basics needed for Standard Tech.  And even in my
center, which I at one time regarded highly, one didn't really get
Standard Tech.  That's just the long and the short of it.
     When the court injunction came down on the AAC and the Clear
Center, everyone blamed the closing of the AAC on that decision.  Well
that is not true, it was a PR line.  I had seen the signs of decay
earlier and had even warned David and others at the AAC about what I
saw.  But no significant actions were taken to correct the situation.
Let's face it, by early 1985 the field was sliding down.
     I myself, even before the court decision came down, decided that I
wanted out of this completely.  I was tired of the price wars, the back
biting and the attempts to deliver anything and call it Standard Tech
for any price.  And I needed time for my research.
     If there was ever a sincere attempt to establish Standard Tech in
the field, then why is our trusted leader David Mayo off doing something
called Metapsychology, whatever that is.
     I guess I shouldn't be so critical, I may not have been the maker
of the porridge, but I certainly dished it out.  And by that I mean my
earlier tapes.  They were certainly a hit.  Much of what I said in these
tapes came from a select number of people, and now, looking at the
facts, it is clear that some of what I covered on the tapes was either
exaggerated or just false.  But how did this happen?
     Well a lot of the information came from the founding members of
AAC, with whom I met in my apartment in 1983.  David Mayo was the Senior
C/S International from 1978 through 1982, John Nelson was the CO CMO
Int, that is one of the highest administrative officials in the church,
from 1981 through 1982.  DeDe Reisdorf had also been the CO CMO Int and
she held that post before John Nelson from 1979 through 1981.  And, boy,
did they have lots to say about management when we first met.  And this
was the hot stuff, the inside story.
     Unfortunately, as I now review these tapes and the data they gave
me, it was just a collection of self-serving stories that could never be
verified.  Here they were, the 'leaders of the church', the supposed
backbone of tech and management, sitting right in my apartment.  But as
the years rolled by and I saw the way they ran the AAC, they fought
amongst themselves mostly over money.  So much for lofty purposes.  It
is possible that these are the very people we were mad at in management
and it sure looks like it.  But I know one thing for sure, I would not
want to inherit the mess they left behind at the AAC in Santa Barbara.
I can't help but wonder what kind of a mess they left behind at the
church after they left.
     Perhaps it's time we should call a spade a spade.  Let's face it,
you and I put our thrust in them and they are now all gone.  And no
matter what you think about the church, one fact is clear:  it is still
there and from what I can see appears to be growing.  I haven't been in
the church in years, since 1983.  But I drove by just recently and saw
all the students out there at the old roach coach behind ASHO and all
the students on the streets appeared happy and productive and bouncing
around.  And you can't help but see the books in the public stores and
Dianetics on the bestseller list.  That doesn't happen by accident,
either.  I've never seen that happen in the field.
     Please forgive me for being bitter with this but we didn't end up
with much.  For that matter, what did we end up with?  We ended up with
no bridge.  No high ARC environment or field really.  We ended up with
many, many people totally inactive or off into other practices.  We
ended up with David Mayo and company closing the AAC, which severely
damaged much of what remained of the field in one fell swoop, and guess
what?  We all paid for it, cash, right from out pockets.
     The moment the cash started to dwindle at the AAC, it closed up.
It makes one wonder about the secret bank account in Lichtenstein,
that's hard for me to say, Lichtenstein, that David Mayo went to right
after the AAC closed up.  My attorney told me about it.  We don't know
how much he took out of the country, but it doesn't make sense to fly to
Europe to make a $500.00 deposit.  I've digressed somewhat from my story
but this is something that I just didn't want to let go by.
     So, let's take a closer look at my earlier tapes, starting with
tape number one, which came out in the summer of 1983.  First off, in
Tape One I gave the impression that the church was about to go under,
that the IRS was about to take over and that the church was being run by
a bunch of young inexperienced management, and that the only way to save
the church was to leave it and 'correct it from the field '; mean-while,
putting your money in one of the field centers.  Well, time is a
terrible teacher.  And fact is, I was wrong.
     That tape contained an allegation that LRH was to get 85 million
dollars from the Church of Scientology.  This created an enormous
sensation, but the source of this figure was Time Magazine and only Time
Magazine.  There is not now, nor was there ever, even one shred of
evidence that this has ever happened.
     My conclusion on that tape about the tax ramifications of all that
was purely my attempt to explain the transaction.  Which would have been
a very clever explanation had any of the events of the transaction ever
taken place.
     Then the story also included a segment that there was something
improper about the transfer of the trademarks to the RTC.  I dubbed that
in to solve that imagined tax problem.  At least that is how I strung
the story together.  The trouble is, this was just a combination of
hearsay and my imagination.
     Stories like these tried to paint a picture of financial
impropriety.  But try as I might during this recent investigation, I
could find no evidence of financial impropriety.  Even LRH's will, which
I had the opportunity to read, and according to all accounts I could
find, provided for his family and everything else went to the church.
Sorry, clean as a whistle.
     Now that I have learned that things are different than I originally
told you, I do feel a responsibility to at least tell you the truth, so
that you can make up your own mind on things.  I certainly owe you that
     But back to the tapes.  Remember the story in Tape One about David
Miscavige sort of bumping off members of the All Clear Committee?  This
turns out to be completely untrue.  What was really going on was that
Dede Reisdorf, who told me this story, was bitter about being put off
the All Clear Committee.  And it was just her story, and in fact, she
was removed from All Clear for incompetence.  The rest was just so much
     David Mayo also told me tales about his comm line, and yours, being
deliberately cut to LRH.  Same story here:  a real case of sour grapes
once more.  Plus a little bit of reinforcement to the hidden data line.
     Then there was all that PR about Mayo's "imprisonment and torture'.
Well, first, Happy Valley has no fence around it.  He could have simply
walked away any time he wanted.  And I have seen some evidence about his
performance on post.  In the church, that is not inconsistent with what
we have seen in the AAC.  And, let's be honest with ourselves, the AAC
was never been a hallmark of organizational competence.  As for Mayo's
other stories, they just got harder and harder to believe.  I mean, not
even Judge Feltzer in the RTC case found David Mayo to be a 'credible
     As you know from listening to my tapes, I had no great love for Don
Larsen.  You remember Don Larsen, the guy who, as a member of the
Finance Police, spent some time terrorizing the LA area?  Well, it turns
out that when Larsen was found out, he was put in the RPF and then blew.
Where is he now?  He is all over the press, yelling about how rotten the
church is and seeking to blame what he did on the church.  That does
sound familiar, doesn't it?
     After a while, you begin to ask yourself what the hell is going on?
There is a limit to how much one can believe or simply absorb.  In the
beginning, I would believe just about any story that came my way.  I
wanted to believe them.  After all, they made me right and the church
wrong.  Nice out rudiment.  It worked that way with a lot of people, and
let's face it, much of what you believed about what was going on in the
church was based initially, at least, on my tapes.  And, on that
information, you made decisions.  The lines that seemed to stick the
most in the first tape, of course, were the finance stories.  People are
always very concerned about the money.
     But since Tape One I have learned that the finance stories David
Mayo and his crew told me had its basis in THEIR own actions and plans.
For example, did you know that David and Julie Mayo took between 10% and
15% of the gross income of the AAC?  That, plus the salaries of the
other principle executives, especially Nelson and Haber, brought the
total in pay to executives to between 30% and 40% of the gross income,
nearly half.  And the salaries were going up and up.
     And what about all my stories and earlier tapes about church money
being couriered around the world?  Well, ok, but what about David Mayo's
trip to Lichtenstein, a safe banking country in Europe?  By the way, a
safe banking country, by that I mean it's a country that has laws like
Switzerland, where the amounts of money and the names of owners of
accounts are not reported to the United States.  As I said earlier, one
does not make an expensive trip like that just to deposit $500 in a bank
     On my second tape, which I did in 1984, I said that LRH was an
unindicted co-conspirator in the DC 9 case.  And that he was also
indicted by a grand jury in Tampa, Florida.  Both of those stories
turned out to be false.  And the truth is right there in the documents.
I'm not sure where I originally got this false data, but I think it
might have come from a Michael Flynn taped speech.  And that is all I
need to say about that..
     I also spent a good deal of time in my tapes picking apart various
Commodore's Messengers.  I painted them as evil and sinister.  The fact
of the matter is, that I have never even laid eyes on most of those
people and know little or nothing first hand about any of them.  All I
know is that the field is now gone and the church marches on.
     David Mayo, John Nelson and company, wove me a story of how the
church was of late involved in illegal and improper acts, that I passed
on to you.  That turned out to be as false as the rest of what I was
told.  And remember, it was Robin Scott who went to jail.  These stories
they told me about the Apollo, you know, trouble and then run and
trouble and run, and trouble and run.  Well, that's not really the
history of the ship.  It turns out to be the history of David Mayo and
that crew.
     By the time Tape Three came out, which was in the summer of 1984,
the handwriting was really already on the wall regarding the field.
This is nearly six months before the church even filed suit.  The church
launched a number of special clean-up missions that were recovering
many, and times were getting tough.  Tape Three was to whip up the field
one last time.  There was hope that this would generate additional
income, and create a common enemy:  the church and LRH.  Moral needed a
boost and I lent a hand.  I claimed that there was thousands of
splinters.  That was just puffing us up.  Actual numbers were well below
     As to the story of LRH's assignment of the trademarks to the RTC,
do you remember that document that was notarized by David Miscavige and
all that?  Well, I said that that document appeared to be a forgery,
which would have made the RTC a fraud and thrown all of church
management into doubt.  Well, it's not a forgery and since that time it
has been through the courts, the federal courts, in fact, in New York
state, and the agreement was pronounced valid.
     I also talked about LRH's military career and said virtually every
claim that he ever made was untrue.  Obviously, if LRH was discredited
the church would also be discredited.  Ok, let's sort that out.  I have
since found much more documentation and, I was wrong.  LRH was severely
disabled and legally blind at the end of the war.  He was highly
decorated.  He did see combat, and so on.  It was the Armstrong claims
that I based all that on.  And I've since seen clear documentary
evidence that those claims were false.  LRH's military records, however,
are true.
     I also indicted, on information sent to me by Robin Scott, that the
July, 1984 court decision allowed NOTS packs to be freely copied and
distributed.  I have since read the actual decision and the opposite of
that is true.  So copies are, in fact, illegal; yet another lie.
     You must now realize that for a manager for one of these field
groups, that's what we like to refer to them as instead of squirrel
groups, times were tough going in 1984.  The income was going down, the
tech was getting worse and worse.  I knew when I was doing my last tape
that it was important that I stress that the church was doing poorly and
was about to falter.  I feel kind of silly now as I talk to you, all you
have to do is turn on the TV or drive by the complex, as I explained
earlier to see that church is still alive and growing.  I even checked
the church claims that Dianetics was back on the bestseller list.  Well,
that turned out to be true, also.  Dianetics was on the bestseller list
for the New York Times for at least 29 weeks.  In Publishers' Weekly,
which by the way is probably the most respected publication in the
publishing industry, it was on the bestseller list for 30 weeks.  The LA
Times for 30 weeks, B. Dalton bookstore's bestseller lists for 35 weeks
and Waldenbook's bestseller list for 35 weeks.
     And since the flow of church public to the field has, for all
practical purposes, stopped, it does not take a screaming genius to
figure out that public are now united with the church, and are staying
     So, what conclusions can we draw from this story, now that we have
laid it out?  Well, to begin with, the field as a movement is gone.  It
was doomed from the beginning and it went the way of all such movements.
It was made up of malcontents, prima-donnas, squirrels and know-bests.
Nothing will ever be standard in that crowd.  Let me tell you something,
the field has failed and can never succeed, ever.  Because it's built on
a lie and an overt.  Not because I say so, but because that is a fact.
The 'independent field' circa 1982 thru present time, has whether you
know it or not, several historical precedents.  For example, Jack
Horner; or Bernie Green; or Anachronistics; or The Process from England
in the middle 1960's.
     What do these earlier attempts have in common with current scene
and with each other?  Well, one, they were led by people who had left
the church or were thrown out, whining about how bad it all was.  Two,
having once left the church, they tried to set up on the outside and
live off the church by pulling people off-lines.  And three, they all
failed due to out-ethics and out-tech.
     If those stories sound familiar, they should.  Because that history
was sadly repeated in 1982, '83, and '84.  All that was supposed to be
different this time, but it really wasn't.  So, if you are still looking
in the field for standard tech, save yourself some time.  It is not
there, and it never really was.
     If we're going to speak of Standard Tech, by its very definition
all the groups in the field were squirrel groups and nothing more than
just that.  Now I can say that, since I am no longer involved either
with the church or with the field and I have no vested interest either
way.  There simply are no cheap rides to get anything in this world and
I am afraid that includes Standard Tech.
     As for the field today, some have gone off into mixing practices
with body balancing and therapeutic massage and channeling and ouija
boards and hypnotism and God knows what else.  This is not the road to
real personal freedom that I was taught, that I taught to others and
understood and considered to be good Standard Tech.  The game simply
became making money.
     The AAC from as early as 1983, was associated with and later formed
affiliations with known criminals.  Squirrel or splinters have always
been started by people with axes to grind.  They pretended to deliver
the tech, grabbing what money they could before out tech and out ethics
ruined their results and ultimately forced them out of business.
     David and John Nelson and DeDe Reisdorf, the management we were so
upset with and now they leave us with this mess.  The thought of earlier
church issues comes to mind that say that Mayo and Nelson and Reisdorf
left a mess behind them in the Church of Scientology.  My guess?  It
looks to me like we are two for two.
     Let's wrap the picture up here.  David Mayo, John Nelson and DeDe
Reisdorf planted the seeds of dissension within the church which
ultimately led to the defections in '83 and '84.  They apparently, in no
small measure, were who we were mad at in management.
     Then here's David Mayo, come to 'lead us all to higher ground'.
There would be Standard Tech, a complete bridge, a high ARC environment,
they knew best, and we happily followed.  None of us, including me, knew
the inside story.  So what did we end up with?  We ended up with no
bridge, no high ARC environment or no field really.  We ended up with
many many people totally inactive or off into other practices.  We ended
up with David Mayo and company closing the AAC.
     And another nagging question:  Why were these top notch experts,
superduper people unable to keep the AAC afloat?  We believed in them;
flowed power and money to them but we were sold down the river, you and
     Once there was trouble, they took off.  Just consider this for a
moment and you will see it.  David and crew made the field 'legitimate',
they lent credence to the idea that this was splintering and not the
dreaded word squirreling.  This is just too hard to overlook, we were
had.  I am sorry to put it in those terms but here we are.  No Standard
Tech, no bridge, no future.  If you don't believe me, go up to Santa
Barbara and see if you can find the AAC, that's the product.
     If their performance inside the church was anything like it was in
the field, that answers the question as to why they were in the field in
the first place.  But this shouldn't have been any surprise.  LRH had
warned from the early 1950's about squirreling, what caused it and what
the inevitable results were and he said it again in RJ 38.
     The whole story above is virtually right there about hard time in
the church being solved by throwing out those who were corrupting the
tech and shattering the lines in the church.  And then these deposed
staff going outside and blaming the new management for the conditions
they created while still trying to profit from the church on the
     This is not a new story this has happened before.  But the church
seems to have improved since these guys left.  The defection rate or
rather the lack of defections proves this.
     Let me say a few words about the current lawsuit and litigation
with the Church of Scientology in general.  With over two years first
hand experience litigating with them, I speak to you with considerable
experience.  Litigation, that is the filing of lawsuits, is especially
tough with Church of Scientology.  First, they have alot of experience
and they have the resources to hire excellent attorneys.  Second, they
fight hard and effectively. And thirdly, in the RTC case against myself
and David Mayo and others, I don't predict that we will do well.
     I think we have adequately covered the reasons why.  Our talk about
litigation would be remiss if I didn't at least mention the fair class
action suit.  My advice to you is, at this point, is do not get
involved.  Aside from the time and money you will spend, not to mention
the mental anguish and animosity, with my view today, not only are the
chances of success poor, but the only people who will ever see any real
money out of this lawsuit ten years down the line will be the lawyers.
     That's my opinion, but after more than two years in the trenches
and study of fifteen years of church litigation I speak with some first
hand knowledge.
     Freedom, intregity and truth are never accomplished by squirreling
or theft or litigation.  So while I realize that this may be shocking to
many of you, I have started settlement negotiations with the church in
this case.  I cannot see defending against a suit in which the facts
bear out that we WERE in possession of the stolen documents.
     David I fear is guilty and I'm tired of fronting for him.  He had
learned on the skinny lines that I was settling with the CofS and he was
worried about it.  First time I've heard from him since before the AAC
closed.  He was concerned that I might be settling out of fear, that I
would no longer be able to financially manage further legal costs.
     He went to great lengths to assure me that my legal expenses would
be, in fact, covered.  This, he repeated over and over, all he could
talk to me about was dollars.  But my concern was not dollars, my
concern was my own honesty and integrity and unfortunately dollars do
not make and adequate substitute.  Of course I would be expected to help
raise more money for the Friends of the First Amendment, which is
David's legal defense fund.  Oh sure, I thought, here we go again, get
out there Jon, and influence the field.  Sorry David, no thanks.
     Thus far I have been treated by the church with kindness, respect
and courtesy.  In spite of my horrendous acts against them in the past,
and in spite of my indication of unwillingness to rejoin the church at
this time.  I have not, and will not, be paid even 'one thin dime' to
quote Herber Jensch, to settle with the church.  It is painful to
realize that you have lost your intregity.  A great deal of this is
resolved in getting honest and straight with the church.  This doesn't
mean that I am going back on the bridge, but it does mean that my hands
are cleaner and my life is happier as I go through this process.
     My happiest time was the joy of being on the Briefing Course in '74
and later the Class VIII course in '78, getting and delivering good
quality tech, keeping my agreements and so on.  I just felt great.
     Since my decision to leave the church, it's never been quite the
same.  Oh, this isn't to say that I've never had any happy moments, but
underlying that, gnawing at me, was the truth that I could not deny,
that I was in possession of materials that I had illegally.  Maybe it
wasn't illegal in the eyes of the law but it was from my own sense of
what was morally right.  I never considered myself to be an SP and most
people don't think of me as that, but I was behaving right off the
HCOB's on suppressive persons, passing on rumors as fact, passing on
only bad news about the church, you name it.
     I was in a moral dilemma and if you find yourself feeling dispersed
or sad or confused, something is nibbling at you.  And I will tell you
what that very well may be, you are not being honest and straight with
that group you've made agreements with.  I'm not saying rejoin the
church, that is for you to decide.
     What I am saying is that your integrity is more important than
hanging onto stolen materials.  We all promised to respect the
confidentiality of those materials and we have broken those agreements.
And if you say, well, they didn't keep their agreements with me, I'm
sorry but that's just a lot of noise, it's your own reactivity at work.
Besides, that makes no difference, your basic honesty and rightness has
been compromised, as was mine.  But you can fix it.
     Blaming the Church of Scientology for all my troubles didn't help
and believe me I could maunder (sic) on and on for hours about how the
church did this and the church did that, goodness what a lot of charge.
And you know what, after all of those marathon bitch sessions, and I'll
bet there isn't anybody that's been in more of them than I have, I never
felt one bit better.  I am a declared SP and, hard as it is to say, that
declare is not unjust.
     So here I stand before you, naked, an SP and a squirrel.  For those
of you that who now see me as a traitor, I'm sorry, it's my choice.
I've done the research, I've done the analysis of the facts and these
are the conclusions that I've reached.  For those of you who have been
intrigued or now have questions, chase down your answers with the vigor
you'd use to search for a lost child.  Call somebody, play this tape for
them.  Call the Org you left and find a way to resolve your differences.
There's been far too much fighting and animosity already.
     I offer you one additional idea:  If you have stolen materials in
your possession, turn them into the church and at the same time get your
name off the litigation list.  And if you are still squirreling, stop.
     With my deepest affection I close this tape with these thoughts.  I
hope that the truth is more important to you than the fight or 'being
     To all of my friends and well wishers over the years, I thank you
enormously for your affection and support.  It was important for me to
settle this matter with the church and with you at this time, in order
for me to simply maintain my own integrity.  If you have something to
settle, settle it.  I'm feeling better day by day and you might, too.
     Jon Zegel

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